Art Medium Drawing
How to Put Children First In The Event of Divorce
While the statistics vary from one year to the next, on average there is a 50 percent chance that a couple getting married today will wind up getting divorced. Although the rate may be dropping a little according to research for 2009 say due to bad economy, still one in two chance of marriage failure exists. This is a pessimistic approach to beginning life as a couple. Most break-ups occur over the same issues: money, sex, infidelity, and the old standby, “irreconcilable differences,” which covers the gamut of everything else, including boredom.
Marriage breaking is too stressful for any couple but the most affected are the children. In a situation like this, always make sure the children are put first so that they can positively cope with a negative situation. There are many cases where the two spouses can agree on nothing other than separating but they need to work on putting their childrens’ welfare ahead of their own acrimony. Children will pick up when tension exists, since they are perceptive, however they will also tend to think that they are to blame for the problems of their parents. It is possible for children to go through a wide range of feelings, such as guilt, grief, sadness, isolation, anger and depression as well as experiencing the fear that they will be abandoned by one or both parents.
So what can you do to help you children settle in and feel safe during this stressful point in their lives? Let it not be a secret and let them know that what is happening is not their mistake. It is imperative that they are comfortable while feeling safe and protected and that their feelings are normal, this can be acheived through verbal and non-verbal communication. You should let them know that even they are undergoing life-changes, everything will end up okay. Let them know you care about them and spend plenty of time with them, even just watching TV and giving hugs.
Give them also a chance to express sadness or problem. There are things you can engage a child in in order to get them to open up. Various creative forms, such as drawing, arts and crafts, dance, music and creative writing along with sports will offer an opportunity for children to translate their inner thoughts into a different outlet. And don’t forget that counseling may be appropriate for the kids, too.
Keep as much stability and routine in their lives as you possibly can. Although daddy or mommy may be moving out of the house, try to establish some regular routines with your soon-to-be-ex that can become customary and predictable. An suggestion is making every Thursday night, pizza night, with your kids. {This will give them something to look forward to and count on.} Once daddy starts helping in math homework, it should continue even through phone and web connection.
A divorce exposes a person’s darkest side. Don’t let this happen to you and your spouse, especially when children are involved. One of the couple may be faulty , but the blame game should not be done in front of children. Even though your relationship has failed, remember that you are parents first, and it is your responsibility to provide protection for them from the fallout of that relationship.
Finally, the most important thing to remember – and you can’t stress it often enough – is to reassure your children that they are loved! They have to be assured that they are still loved by their parents even after the separation. Gather all the love you had between you two and direct it towards the children and you can have a successful divorce.
If you find this interesting, you can learn more about my experience as an good divorce lawyer in Austin. You can also get a free copy of our Austin Texas Divorce Guide CD at www.TruslerLegal.com. If you need more specific information, you can review our questions about divorce in Austin Texas.
Daily Doodle Drawing Painting Mixed Media Art 1/22/09 Time Lapse
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